Fear is an innate emotional response to danger. We have a choice: either we stand and fight or we run for shelter. Challenge or safety, the danger is still there. All that counts is how you react to it. The worst thing you could do is pick neither of these two and simply do nothing. Lack of action is worse than running away. It’s accepting the destruction. It’s being defeated from the very beginning.
Many of us think that after such a diagnosis, our lives need to be those of sick people. Many of us behave like sick people. Many of us think we are victims. You are a victim if you choose to be one. How you react to what is happening to you defines who you are.
Let’s Put A Face To That Danger
Define your nightmare. The absolute worse that can happen MS-wise. Write it down: “If I do x thing, my MS will …….”. Envision it in full detail. And then think what steps could you take to repair things, to bring the situation once more under your control?
If you were to measure the impact the nightmare has on your life, where would you place it on a scale from 1 to 10 (1 being the least impact and 10 being the biggest impact). Decide how bad you would be affected by what you think it will happen if you act in a certain way.
And then ask yourself what are you putting off out of fear? We are all afraid of the unknown, but we also have lives, dreams and plans. What are you letting go because of your MS? Is it worth it?
You may be hurt of not being able to do something you love anymore. Seeing other people doing that makes you sad. You then reject that thing entirely. And to think that it once brought you so much joy and satisfaction.
Overcoming Dissability. The Emotional One
But there is a way out. Human beings are adaptable creatures. You can and will overcome all hardship in your life. You have it in you to do so. Instead of drowning in sadness and avoiding all the things that make you sad, confront them and adapt them to your current situation.
Want to dance and you are in a wheelchair? Dance in a wheelchair! Live your life according to the wishes of your heart, not by the shame you feel when other people are looking and judging what you do. You are your worst judge! It hurts not being able to do it the old way. Do it another way. Get creative.
Always Do The Things That Make You Happy
The thing we fear most in doing is what we most need to do. Step by step, by confronting one fear a day, we will soon be on top of all the negativity and anger that has been growing in our hearts since MS entered our lives. It tries to put you down, don’t let it. Fight it! Regain control over your emotions.
It can be done. For the past year, I was soaked in fear, anxiety and anger. To a certain extent, I still am for some days, because these emotions come back. But what really counts is how I manage them. I once surrendered to them and felt helpless, stressed and full of rage because of the cruelty of life.
Guess who had to suffer most?! Life? No, me.
You suffer the most when you accept all the negativity and despair. Life is uncertain for all human beings, sick and healthy, old and young, bad or good. We all grow old, get sick and die. It’s how you live until that moment comes that counts the most.
Do The Smart Choice: Change Your Lifestyle
I can’t even state how much does a lifestyle shift count in dealing with MS! Letting go of old habits that did harm you is crucial. You had all this time to indulge in all the consumerist society had to offer: coke, fast-food, staying up late and having a blast in the club, doing those extra hours at your well-payed job, skipping meals and all in all having a decadent lifestyle. Or you were healthy from the get-go, only to find yourself helpless in the face of a chronic disease.
And now you are scared because it has been all taken from you. You feel like you no longer have control over the choices you make in living your life. As a matter of fact you only now have the power to choose for real. Society chose for you all your life. You have been taught all you know. But you are scared enough now to make the right choices and fear making the wrong ones.
It's scary going on against the current, but you have to do it. I've done it and am still here, alive and well. With MS, but well mentally. Doing my best to keep my emotions afloat when times get rough. That's the truth, they will get tough. But they will also get better. Imagine a rollercoaster. Not so pleasant but in time you'll adapt to it.
What You Need To Do
Stop this anxiety and come back to common sense. It’s that simple. A healthy lifestyle change for MS is nothing but letting go bit by bit of all the things that harm you. It is all about choosing healthy food, as close to its natural state as possible. It is about taking time for yourself and just relax, lay down and breathe deeply; read a book, sleep, watch a movie.
Be in the moment and do not stress about what happened or is bound to happen. Then get off the couch and move. Or if you are in a condition you can’t get up, move nonetheless! Stretch, close your eyes and feel your body, touch it so that you can know it’s still there.
Hustle! Do it for you, do it to beat the fear. Crush the anxiety. Get back to you!
What If You Don’t Do It?
Think of what will cost you to postpone action. What you will need to spend physically, emotionally and financially if you don’t make a choice now. Think of the impact that MS would have on you if you keep the destructive habits that led you here in the first place. Be them physical or emotional. They helped your MS be. Change for the better and feel better gradually.
What is your cost of inaction? How would you feel about it?
We all die in the end. It’s what we do until then that matters the most. What matters the most is how we live. What matters the most is what we left behind for future generations.
Do you want your legacy to be FEAR?
Until the next article, let’s talk about this. What is your worst MS fear?
Yours truly,
Alexandra
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